Panchito‘s Diary

Once I saw a meme, it was along the ways of:

“Im ashamed uwu, but unconsciously, like a catholic is ashamed about sex.”

and oh gosh, that woke up the concern. Am I ashamed of sex, sexuality, sexual-attraction, desire and passion, because of how I was raised in a conservative catholic household? (surprised pikachu face)

Short answer, yes. Long answer, yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssss.

I ve made mistakes, like everyone else. I ve been raised as a “male” “catholic”. And those labels tend to ferment into what critical people call “ignorants”

Since I took over the control of my life at adolescence. I tried to do all my best to have a fun and peaceful life.

AND SEX WAS NEVER PEACEFUL OR FUN AT ALL

it felt like everyone is having an easier time than me. Everyone is having sex, everyone is enjoying it. All the people that talk about it are so happy, but I DONT. SO I SHUT THE FUCK UP. Even for my sexual partners.

and after years of a fight with myself, some lessons learned and a lot of discoveries, I can write a couple things I would like my younger self to read.

-The love from the others is complementary, self love is the basis of a healthy relationship

-You ARE pansexual, you ARE demisexual, you ARE polyamorous, you ARE you. don’t try to hide it, accept it then people will follow.

-DON’T CALL ANYONE MOMMY OR DADDY! Believe me, ur gonna cringe later

-Don’t fix them. Fix urself.

-Sex is beautiful when consent is there, if u are unsure, well something is not being consensual. (It’s sensual, it consensual)

-Sex is more that coitus, felatio, cunnilingus, and all those dirty latin words. It’s all what u and ur partner/s are willing to share with each other, this being, emotional, corporal, soulful and other ways that u never imagined, but all are valid and beautiful.

-Don’t compare u to anything or anyone. Ur are an individual in every single possible way, why should it be different when it comes to sex?

-There is no rush. Nobody is gonna die if it doest get it.

-Ass could be opium. U might experience rebound, and that’s normal, but u are strong. Ur gonna make it! (DONT TEXT THEM)

-U are sensible and empathic. that’s the most important thing to navigate the realms of the sexual experience with others, don’t hide your values.

-its okay to be shy. its okay to laugh.

and finally

-no, sex is not a replacement for self love. go to therapy, get good friends, enjoy life. ur Demi, befriend ur lovers first.

The holy trinity of SHAME, IGNORANCE and MISOGYNY was taught me at church, at school, at home. “it’s not my fault” that’s true and those are words that religion made me ignore and categorise as a lie.

its not my fault my parents lacked healthy attachment

its not my fault people overstepped my boundaries

its not my fault that I was abused and used

this topic is not finished, but I really wanted to draw today. And how can something finish if I am not willing to start it?!

So lets all hold hands and asses and shout!

hoyah!

Let’s enjoy sex. Let’s enjoy ourselves and others. as long as its healthy, consensual and steamy.