Panchito‘s Diary

I was outside with a friend, we had a talk about german cake culture and she had a very hot take.

“German cakes are not cakes” she argued they are too humble too be cakes, they are snacks, like a cookie.

I got her point and the conversation made me think a little about my experiences “eating outside”.

I ate my first banana split when I was 12 and finished primary school. I got a “eat what u want” wish from my dad because i had the best grades. It was my first time going to a café.

I had my first burrito outside when i had a date, i was 15. That was my second time.

I had my first “buffet” when i was 18 and graduated secondary school and my brother invited me. (That was also the first time I noticed being discriminated because of looking punk, i guess bright red mohawks do look like a literal red flag)

And so on and so on. I think i could count the times I ate outside before coming to Europe with my fingers. And still have some free to pick my nose.

I think I should dig deeper on another time about the whole “poor kid goes into capitalist hole to become artist goes wrong, u wont believe what happen next after they found out about Mettbrötchen” 

But today is about the guilt that I try to leave behind me of taking part of the coffee consumption “culture” (i quote culture because that wors is very important and i will rather associate this with a cult)

For me even a glasa of soda felt like the most expensive luxurious drink that people could get outside. There was nothing humble about it?

I could buy a cola myself and will be cheaper, or just dont buy one and drink water.

Yes. I noticed i had the generational trauma-sicknes of being a cheapsteak, i mean cheapskate, i would never allow me to be near a steak, even if its cheap.

I had to say no to 80% of the times people told me to hang out, because it had to do something with spending money. That even if I had i did not had access too. Cuz, rent and that stuff.

What are u when u sit at a café with a friend? Are u a guest or a product? 

Does drinking good but expensive coffee feels luxurious? 

I guess for the people from the plantations and baristas, not that much.

Like a cup of coffee should cost 50 cents.

Im drifting away from topic but hear me out.

Existing in Europe is already fuelling inequality.

As long as u work in the killing machine, u are a killer.

–

Reflecting on that, its so fucked up. They ransacked half of the world and then they get our labour serve to them via migration, that is a direct consequence of their colonialism.

Fuck i dobt even hate the coffee. I hate the people drinking in not knowing anything about it, not even if its good or not. But only to gossip around their privileged lives. I jate people looki the other way. Looking at their sugar ass cake.