Panchito‘s Diary

-Arrival-

Hey! that’s me! I’m 13! and just got into secondary school, I had to do the paperwork for getting into school by myself. And after some family confusion, my mom put my in a catholic school with salesian tints on recommendation of my salesian priest cousin. So we all 3 are at fault of what’s coming.

So after getting bullied by my teacher at my first day under the excuse of not complying to the uniform rules by wearing baggy pants (the ones that I got from my brothers, cuz we poor duh!) for having a neon green scarf on (sorry I was sick and used the scarf my grandma gave me, I guess) and for having hip rebel hair (it was spiky, cuz that’s how my hair structure is and it was the first time I had short hair, we gonna touch that topic later). She was also mocking my name pronunciation, because she did not knew me, cuz 80% of the people there, were already at the primary school in the same “building”. I was not taking anything seriously, I just have lived the worst bulling of my life at 12. So she was just a breezy day. UNTIL I FUCKING NOTICED THERE IS NO GIRLS AROUND.

I thought, hmm, they might be in another classroom? NOPE. I WAS JUST BEGINNING MY 6 YEAR JOURNEY IN A ONLY MAN SCHOOL.

-Long hair-

I have been fond of long hair my whole life, cuz of my brothers and dad, and “not being like the other boys” (I was raised as a boy, so don’t bully me) So I always let my hair got shaggy and look like a Beatle (fuck the Beatles, not because of their music, but because they are a group of old white British man, don’t forget that)

How big was my surprise when I got into detention because my hair is part of the uniform. So they showed me the rule book, and told me that if I don’t want to have short hair, I could leave the school.

I did not leave, not because they won, but because I wanted to rebel.

There happens to be a hair donation program, where u can gift ur hair and some monetary donation, and this will become a wig for kids with cancer. wouldn’t be a pity and a shame to let the media and people know, that my catholic school prohibited me of being generous with some kids in need? I won. but only for a year, because after that I got literally burned alive (an my hair too) in a school accident/negligence. But hey! you win some, you lose some.

-No Patriotism nor militarism-

Did u know that we use (used to? haven’t been to school in 10 years idk) the roman salute to greet the Ecuadorian flag at school every Monday and on special occasions? If that sounds like fascism to you, wait until u find out that our Flag includes a Fasces (a pile of tied sticks, that’s where the word Fascism comes from, because, one stick is weak, but a lot are not, standard populism) in it.

I never sung the Hymn (also very fascist and still lingers today into some bulling that my Spanish folks had to endure because of it) , I never did the salute, and never kissed the flag (yes, I know, it only gets worse) I got in problems most of the time. But I always told the same thing to the authorities, when they asked about my behaviour “that’s a piece of fabric” but I said that knowing its not only a piece of fabric, but a tool, that makes people ignorants and malleable. I said that because I knew it was offensive to them.

-Ska-

Let’s make this one quickly. I was in a band, we made some covers of some ska songs (shoutout to SKA-P, amazing band) and some other cool stuff, about the topics of discrimination, war on drugs, sex banning and all that stuff that conservatives call degenerate art and our band got banned from school. We stole some stuff from the music room to make our own studio at home. Slay, I know.

-Church critique-

did u know I was a writer/orator and theatre kid? Shocking I know.

Now guess who won the national oratory contest with a very church-critique loaded text and performance.

now guess who’s texts and representations got banned too?

this mf. ❤

The school never got a prize again on that discipline. Cuz they decided to be mediocre instead of revolutionary.

Also my assigned “mentor” called me cocky because I did not wanted to change my mind. Something that still happens to this day. But why should I be “nicer” when I can be “honest”. And honestly, her make up was wack as fuck, clumpy ass eyelashes.

-Autoritarism-

Is this getting repetitive to you? well it was for me, for 6 fucking years.

There were only 4 teachers I never had problems with in all those years

My only philosophy teacher, who made me shut up, and think. because not everything are words.

My third Religion teacher, because she respected my atheism, because she chill and sure of her beliefs af.

My first literature teacher, because she saw me and my light. my fire.

My Informatics teacher, because I could jump his firewalls and he liked that.

All the other teachers, and im not joking, all of them, maybe 20-30, sent me to detention, because I asked to much and did not obey. I mean I provoked them, but im also entitled to have fun!

-Saviour complex-

My family did not had enough. But it was an school obligation to get some donations for people in need (I know right, wtf) from the students to deliver to “poor” communities.

We delivered the resources ourselves, we came by bus, got some chicken, rode some horses, enjoy the views, patted our shoulders and left for us to tell the story of how good samatirans we are.

my mom got mad because I donated the tuna cans that were supposed to be our weekend meal. we ate literally plain rice with onions. But the school could brag about helping others and fill their saviour-meter for one more year.

-Oath-

I told to myself to never return to this place after leaving it. And some months ago I got confronted with the question. do I keep distance or do I try to reach them and give a discourse for the new generations. maybe I could make a difference.

Thankfully everyone was on vacations and I did not have to decide at all.