Panchito‘s Diary

I am full of emotions. And wrath is one of them. Destructive, powerful but necessary to defend myself.

I use this strong feeling to fight the wack ass society where fascism is “in” again, egoism and apathy are cool now.

I use this feeling to care about the others and myself.

Its the muscles that are sometimes necessary to move things around and make place for room, room to grow and develope myself.

But i feel conflicted. I dont like to fight until i do. And that makes me feel complex and sometimes evil. But that I am not. I might be hurtful, because punches are hurtful, but are a selfdefense weapon. Its not a knife i use, its my hands, my hearth, and they also hurt when i used them to against someone and I do so in purpose, because i want to feel the pain that i produce, so i dont get numb. If i do, ive lost the fight, because i will not be aware of the violence happening around.

I really like to shout my feelings to my abusers. 

I really like to hold a mirror in front of the people hurting me, an then break it over their heads.

I really like to get fucking intense and show them how strong i am, how loud i can bark, how strong i can bite. How fucking much i can salivate while i look em at the eyes waiting them to run away for me to chase them.

I fucking love to fight my brothers, my bullies, my abusers. Because thats a fight for justice.

I thought I was a pacifist, but that was hurtful, and I am not taking this social shit anymore. Animals dont hate each other because they fight when its necesary and do not build resentment (they might, im not a biologist lol). 

I feel a lot. And try to enjoy every hug, every kiss, every stare. So i pledge to enjoy the pain of defending myself and fighting for what I stand for.